Posted by admin | Posted in Cheating | Posted on 25-08-2011
Dealing with cheating is one of the most painful and emotionally depressing issues that can happen to any women. The betrayal and unfaithfulness has forced us not to think of anything else other than his cheating. May be the thoughts have just totally flooded your mind. With all this happening to us, It becomes really important for us to know, how to deal with cheating?
The damage has been done to our relationship in the form of betrayal and unfaithfulness. So we need to understand and accept that to deal with the cheating and then rebuilding the trust and honesty will take some time and effort not only from your partner but also from you.
|The best and proven step-by-step ways to deal with cheating|
There are certain things we need to know and do within ourselves and also certain things on our partners/spouses that will help us to deal with their cheating.
Some of the fundamental things you need to do are,
1 – Erase the images from your mind…
2 – Rebuild your self-esteem…
3 – How to talk about the details…
4 – How to find out why it happened…
# Deal with cheating by – Taking responsibility :
The important thing is to take ownership of your actions. It’s easy to play the blame game. But will it really do anything good to the future of your relationship. Take responsibility for your actions that caused your relationship to get to this stage.
You might be thinking that the issues he had and the decisions he made was the main cause of the cheating. I completely agree with that. What I mean is, to take responsibility of the causes if any from our side that made him to act that way.
# Deal with cheating by –Not constantly blaming yourself :
Some of the women we see tend to put a lot of blame and guilt on themselves for their partner’s or husband’s cheating. I really don’t agree with just you having all the blame. They will try to find the reasons why they missed seeing the signs of cheating in him a long back instead of trying to deal with cheating now. Should I have done this, or done that. We should not be too much fixated towards these kinds of thoughts. This will do NO good to the issue you have at your hands now.
The hard truth is that your husband now is having an affair or has cheated on you. And apart from yourself, your husband also holds a lot of blame for what he has done to you. It was his decision to cheat on you instead of resolving the issues he sees in your marriage.
Agreed that no matter what drove him to cheat on you, he could have handled the whole issue in a more appropriate way.
May be you did not see the cues from him or understand them better. May be you were too much occupied or busy on doing your own stuff.
Now is the best time to stop blaming yourself for whatever reason.
# How to Discuss and Express yourself appropriately :
Try not to confront them with all their wrong doings. This just makes the issue more difficult to resolve. First collect all your thoughts together, try to understand why he would have done this, was there anything wrong on my side?
Sit with him and bring out this discussion. At no point in time start accusing each other or start the blame-game. Always remember that the ultimate goal is to restore and rebuild the Love in your relationship.
|Know how you can restore the trust and honesty after the cheating/affair|
The mature thing to do is for him to accept his mistake and for you to introspect the things you missed that allowed him to make this mistake.
# Do you know what exactly is the cause of his cheating on you:
You need to know and understand, what was it that you were not able to provide to your partner or what was it that they disliked in us that they had to cheat on us. We need to know answers to these questions from them and KEEP in mind that you need to get to know them without antagonizing them and affecting your relationship further. Keep your love and respect for them intact no matter what.
At times out of emotions and painful feelings we end up saying or doing something totally inappropriate and they may hold on to that affecting our relationship even further. So be very careful on how you deal with the whole issue and what you do and say. For the love that you still have in your relationship, check how you can makeup to your partner without the fear of a breakup or a divorce.
To say the least,Always remember the fact that you love him and want him back. You might make this difficult if you try to annoy him or blame him for each and every thing. Try to make him understand that you are aware of the mistakes on your part and have changed or trying to change them for the betterment of our marriage.
If you feel that your relationship or your marriage is in rough waters then check out how you can avoid the breakup or divorce here.
To know how to deal with cheating is just the first step to handle things; it takes a lot of courage and will power to deal with cheating. Hope you come out of that with more resolve and love for your partner. See how you can Bring back the Lost Love in your relationship.
– Things you should do when your husband cheats on you.
– Things that you should know and do with a cheating husband.
– What to do when your husband cheats you.
– Things that could help you to get over a cheating man
– Know how to handle a cheating spouse